So I know in my last post I wrote about how most people in university just go out and try to get laid whenever possible, so I probably already know the answer to my problem. However, I honestly don’t know what to do anymore. I have been single for a little while now and while I’m not desperate to jump into a relationship, I have been feeling quite alone lately.
Two of my flatmates are in relationships and the rest are boys, and yes you probably guessed it, they are obsessed with going out, pulling and talking to girls online in order for them to have sex. I have honestly never felt so alone in my life. This leads me to wonder what it would be like to be in a relationship again (there is a reason to why I haven’t wanted to be in a relationship but that is a whole other story). So after having this thought, I thought I’d put myself out there and actually try to meet someone. This hasn’t worked out the way I hoped for. Everyone I have met has only wanted just one thing from me and I hate it.
I honestly don’t think I am bad looking, yes I don’t have an amazing figure but I’m not ugly or bad looking at all. So why do I find it so hard to meet somebody who wants to go out on dates or just hang out together? I always feel like, when I meet a guy, I am trying so hard to get to know them and see if it could lead to something but all they ever want is sex and that’s just not what I want right now.
I make my friends believe that I am fine with being single and it doesn’t bother me but it really does. Even if I don’t go into a relationship, I just want to find someone who I can call whenever I feel like talking, someone who will actually listen to me when I’m feeling down. Someone who wants to spend time with me and not just for sexual favours, someone who would quite happily hang out and watch a movie sometime. I know I’m probably coming across as pathetic but in my past, I have lead guys to believe that after a random night, there might be something more when I know I will never speak to them again and because of this I feel like karma has finally come back around and kicked my arse for it.
At this moment in time, I feel like I am going to grow old and never find someone I truly want to be with, leaving me to be alone forever. Stupid, I know but I honestly don’t know what to think anymore.
I’m sorry for another depressing post but was having a moment about my lonely, single life and needed to rant a little bit. What can I say, apparently I am a very sad person at the moment in need of a little advice.